A question the Sage hears often
Every year I receive gifts I know I'll never use: scented candles, ornaments, a sweater that isn't my colour. I feel wasteful keeping them in a cupboard, but guilty passing them on. Is regifting rude?
In short: Regifting is fine when the gift is new, suits the new person, and won't travel back to the original giver. Never regift something handmade, personalized or obviously chosen just for you.
The Sage replies…
A gift's job is to be loved
Let's settle this over a cup of tea: once a gift is given, it is yours. The giver's job was the kindness of choosing it. Your job is to thank them warmly. After that, the gift's only purpose is to be enjoyed by someone, and that someone doesn't have to be you.
A lovely candle sitting unlit in a cupboard for five years honours nobody. The same candle lighting up a friend's evening is a happy ending.
The Sage's golden rules of regifting
Only pass on things that are new, unused and in their original packaging. Choose the new person carefully: regift because it suits them, not just because you need it gone. Keep regifts out of the same circle of friends or family, so the original giver never meets it again at a party. Remove any old tags or cards (check inside the box!). And never regift something handmade, personalized, or chosen with obvious care just for you. Those you keep, or at least keep long enough to use once while the giver can see you enjoying it.
Other happy homes for gifts
Not every unwanted gift needs to become another gift. Donate it to a charity shop, add it to a raffle basket for a local fundraiser, or bring it to a gift exchange where everyone knows the game. A cheerful swap party with friends after the holidays can be great fun.
And when you receive a gift you don't love? A warm thank-you for the thought is always true: "How thoughtful of you to think of me."
With a wink and a twirl,
— The Dancing Sage
Try this
Clear the gift cupboard
Open that cupboard (you know the one). Make three piles: keep, regift to someone specific, and donate. Put a sticky note on each regift with who it's for and who it came from, so it never goes back to the giver.
A question to take with you: What do I keep out of guilt, rather than because I love it?
From The Dancing Sage's bookshelf: 30 Days Back to You
A gentle journal for slowing down, reconnecting, and finding your way back to yourself, one small day at a time.
Get the journal on Amazon →Keep reading: Do People Still Send Thank-You Notes? · The Season of Enough
Have a question of your own? Ask the Sage →
The Dancing Sage offers friendly, everyday advice, not professional counselling, medical, legal or financial advice. For anything serious, ongoing or urgent, please reach out to a doctor, counsellor or someone you trust. If you or someone else may be in danger, contact local emergency services.