Dear tired woman,
Yes, you. The one reading this in a stolen minute between everything else, wondering if you have enough left in you to get through the rest of today, let alone the rest of this season of your life.
You have been holding a great deal
I want you to know that I see how much you have been carrying, and for how long. Not just today's list, but the quiet accumulation of years spent anticipating what everyone else needed before they even had to ask.
You have shown up for people who never once asked if you were tired. You have kept going through seasons that would have broken someone who cared less than you do. That is not nothing. That is not something to apologize for.
Tired is not the same as failing
Somewhere along the way, you may have started believing that your exhaustion is a personal failing — that a stronger woman, a better woman, wouldn't feel this depleted.
She would. Anyone carrying what you carry would.
Tiredness is not proof that you are doing life wrong. It is proof that you have been doing an enormous amount, for a long time, mostly without help, mostly without rest, mostly without anyone noticing the weight of it.
What I hope for you today
I am not going to tell you to simply relax, as though the years of holding everything together can be undone in an afternoon. But I do hope you will let this be the moment you stop waiting for permission.
You do not have to earn your rest by collapsing first. You do not have to prove your exhaustion before you're allowed to set something down.
Today, let one small thing wait. Let one small kindness be for you instead of for someone else. You have given so much of yourself away. It is enough, for now, to simply come back to you.
With tenderness,
— The Dancing Sage 🌿
Try this in everyday life
Ask for one specific piece of help
A general wish for more support can be difficult for another person to act on. Naming a task gives both of you something concrete to discuss.
Choose one ordinary responsibility you would welcome help with this week. Say what the task is, when it needs doing and what a useful handover would look like: Could you handle supper on Thursday, including choosing the meal and tidying up? Or: Could you make that phone call and let me know the answer by Friday?
Ask someone who is reasonably placed to help, and leave room for an honest answer. If they cannot do it, consider whether the task can be simplified or moved. This letter is encouragement, not an explanation for every kind of tiredness; persistent or unexplained exhaustion deserves appropriate professional attention.
A question to take with you: Which task would make the biggest difference if I did not have to organise every part of it?
